Basically I deal with my ADHD like I would deal with having only one arm; I adapt. Nothing ever gets done in one go. I have ADHD too and I know how you feel, but I believe in you! I can’t seem to separate them and do them one by one, it’s difficult to find a place to start when there are so many. That is bang-on lol totally identify with that analogy plus add in a super anxious and self conscious feeling because u know you’re gonna screw it up, AGAIN. She has seen so many psychologists and a few psychiatrists and medication providers and was diagnosed with ADHD by 3 more doctors after that. I often tend to overcomplicate things and am driven by detail to a fault. I feel like I need external accountability and a team structure around me to help do the shitty things I can’t do, and I work better when having someone to bounce ideas off of, as well. 1 Speculation 2 Lyrics 3 Credits 4 Covers The song's lyrics detailing a secret relationship have caused much fan speculation about whether the song is referencing Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson possibly being a closeted couple. Generally, if I can just get started my brain will catch up soon enough. Meanwhile your rattling the cage screaming SOMEBODY LET ME OUT OF HERE! I am homeless and can’t stop spirolling down to find I gave up and now just servive day to day and wish I could stop caring at all to just not feel the pain in it all You should get him outside and get him jogging with you because exercise helps ADHD and anxiety and stress and it helps to clear the mind, maybe learn to meditate together. Other motorists pass you and wonder what your problem is, but there’s really no way for them to understand why your seemingly good looking car performs more like a Pinto most of the time. I can’t seem to stop yelling once I’m angry. I felt like a lifeless robot or a shell of myself. People complain (and not unreasonably so) about the Covid pandemic and isolation and mental health problems from that isolation–but that’s peanuts compared to what I’ve been dealing with for many many years. They think you are simply refusing to step forward, because they don’t see the barrier between you and them. Mixed emotions, now who's to care. Clearly not, otherwise I would have remembered it. I wasn’t stupid, but I struggled with homework, especially anything that was of no interest to me. I feel paralyzed in all aspects of life. Else the devil and him friend a go heel you Like I have looked online at symptoms but I feel as if I relate to most things but then some I don’t. ADD is not given enough credet and written off so casually to find I feel hopeless and sad and this is all I have left to say . I do not like that I tap my toes or shake my leg or fiddle with my facial hair or the hair on my neck almost all of the time. I like to walk in nature, though the area I live in isn’t super conducive to that. I’m resigned to the idea that I am a selfish horrible person because I can’t explain that it wasn’t intentional because he says it’s just an excuse I use. I decided to collect some of the best answers to help shed more light on what it feels like to have ADHD, and also to give everybody options for how to describe ADHD to someone who doesn’t have it. It’s thinking everything is the end of the world and everything is an emergency. Just opening mail and remembering where I put bills. ADHD people are seen as lazy, but we’re not lazy we just don’t know how to get started or motivated on something. For me, ADHD feels like being a very large ship on a raging sea filled to the brim with thoughts, feelings, and emotions packed into boxes… the problem is that the ship is equipped with steering on both ends and the 2 ends are always pulling away from the other. etc…. And, you have to grab all the tickets (thoughts) and pin them down, but when the blaster stops blowing the tickets around, you’re out of luck. I can relate to all of this. Talk to him in a calm and nice voice about his problems. Ashwagandha was helpful with anxiety, though, and I still occasionally take it (increases GABA and reduces cortisol). The social contract isn’t working. …(all the while using my gifted imagination that I’m cruising in a blacked out Corvette with its top off…) hmmm? Mi see clear Blame it on my ADD? I always leave early for everywhere and do dry runs for new destinations because I know I get lost easily. (which is nearly impossible) You have to focus on one thing and everything thing around is so interesting to look at accept that one thing. , Yep…. I hate it! It nearly brought me to tears to see all the people who experience the same setbacks and obstacles I do. Great analogy, Catherine. I never asked him how it went. At 66, a therapist suggested self compassion. One is my thoughts, the deeper ones anyway. While this is going on I can listen to 2 or 3 conversations going on and be thinking about all of them, plus answering the phone and helping a customer. The Metaphor that I have. I gotta take a little time A little time to think things over I better read between the lines In case I need it when I'm older Oooh, woah-ooh. Im about to go over a cliff. I know it was the stimulation from the adrenaline rush of “Oh shit that paper’s due in the morning” that got me moving, but geeze…the cortisol levels I experienced. The worst being something that doesn’t have a deadline. You can’t be negative with this sort of thing. I know this world will fade away I spent a few minutes crying after being able to see that there are people who do understand. In his response he talks about how, with his ADHD, he resolved to simply doing things a little different, and lists a few examples. At the end of the day I am exhausted! He said I just trail off or change the subject. Mindfulness therapies have made the most difference & I doscovered my “super power” with ADD is seeing or hearing or just picking up on certain details one might not normally pay attention to, similar to a mentalist . I constantly look in math class, arg! 45 minutes in, (they were due today), I look down, and I have almost nothing written. No matter how hard I try, I don’t seem to really consume what I’m watching/reading/hearing. When people tell me how to do things all at once, I usually forget everything but the first or the last step. A compromise would be to lower your stimulant medication dosage so that there is less negative side effect on your mood and try adding a non-stimulant medication (e.g., Strattera/atomoxetine or Intuniv/guanfacine) which is in effect 24 hours per day (rather than just during the day like the stimulant medication) and affects different neurotransmitter systems. This is exactly how I feel! Even going through all these comments I copied & pasted all the ones that resonated with me-do you realize how much time that took? I was full of so much energy and my mind and thoughts were strewn all over the place. for triple j's Like A Version. There’s a part of me that hesitates when setting a goal. Also a better alternative to the sleep medicine that ends up affecting you in the morning with trouble getting up would be melatonin. It’s not trusting yourself. I’m in the same boat, Amy. Un-diagnosed. I’ve done to the conclusion it’ll turn up eventually instead of stressing about it. Try to find a way to get him to therapy to talk about his problems and work through all of his problems and any anxiety or depression he might have. Sometimes if it fails I will reach for another thought and come short again. It’s trying to retell a story especially and not being all to. OH MY GOODNESS!! I lost my younger and only sister, Morgan, almost exactly a year ago... on July 24, 2011 in a plane crash. 10 minutes later, I’ve done exactly what I said I wasnt going to do and wondering why the hell I did it! — After finally locating my ‘spare’ car keys in the house I begin my short, scenic drive to the office. I was just reading a bunch of articles about it. I never understood why I couldn’t function like everyone else. I had problems with money and could not handle my finances causing problems. And I always stay and do more than is asked of me. Of course, most people dislike doing or spending time on things that are not interesting or soothing such as chores. Lots of one-on-one throughout high school. Sorry if this analogy doesnt make sense. Most don’t realize that for someone that has ADHD, we are the most hard on ourselves, we have spent most of our lives praying to be normal, wondering what is so wrong with us, to not have to rely on medications, to not be an emotionless robot and control our impulses. If your son is willing to seek help, that is a good start. Never focusing on one thing as I soon pass it. When I’m engaged, it’s so wonderful. My brain does that! Only they don’t know you desperately want out. I made bad impulsive choices throughout my life which led to problems later. Except I will be exhausted and my meds will wear off before they fall asleep and I will be exhausted. (It’s Tuesday) you are hopeless. I want to do things but my brain won’t let me. I can totally relate to Dori from the Disney movie Nemo, most of the time not instantaneous forgetfulness. See how you are? P.S. Your example about how hard it is to have patience for anything you’re not interested in– how terribly (and at times torturously) true! And all the tabs open and notes EVERYWHERE and why am I so analytical and particular about how things are while standing in a mound of yuck, of my own making.. Think of a person’s head/mind like a pillow and the feathers that stuff it are thoughts. Didnt sleep at all last night, was there till 1030pm, had to be at work at 6AM, went in at 2AM, there you have it and I’m still not asleep, CST. I struggled in school,I struggled at work, I had major struggles with the men in my life. Anyway knowing so many different skills and amassing all that knowlege hasnt made me rich or sucsessful. I kinda went off on a tangent suppose that’s typical of me. He also probably feels like everybody hates him and feels alone in this world and maybe he feels like there’s no place in for him in this world or that he doesn’t fit in anywhere. I didn’t even say it was my ADHD brain because he doesn’t believe me. Or they give me weird looks. If Earth was forever mi a tell u dis treva That’s what it’s like to have an ADHD brain. I hit one mole (Example: Remembering to pay bills on time) but there is always another popping up that I can’t seem to hit (Deadlines, remembering instructions, where I place things). I feel immature for 36. I know I am two years late and this probably is not a thing any more. Its frustrating to work so hard at being ready to go and arriving somewhere on time. Well it’s harder than one might think… especially if you’re like me & only know certain songs from hit albums by the tune, or maybe just the chords from a song… I even got more in touch with what kind of schedule allows me to have such preparation so I’m not always late to everything and can set alarms as needed. Overall I do not like the person I am Unmedicated. I want to see and comprehend the details of each program, but as soon as I start to understand, the channel changes again. I know this is really late but ive just had a look at this forum sorry. It’s not like I’m really affecting anyone else’s work. It’s just a matter of knowing what signs to look for. Ive had anxiety since a child. I hate “Boring Lecture” classes such as English or mathematics because I zone out and I don’t realize that until the teacher calls on me and I realize that I don’t even know which page that we were on. Occasionally, that Big Bold Word™ is something useful, like “WRITE THREE CHAPTERS IN ONE SITTING” or “ORGANIZE YOUR ENTIRE DRESSER” but more often than not, it’s just a useless and distracting – albeit entertaining – side task. School ? Turns out I scored high prob 60 or 70% sure. because I’m exhausted. Ugh and the dreaded timed tests. ‘They’ say you can’t have ‘too many tabs open’? Glad the Straterra helps! Pretty sure that’s what the inside of my brain looks like. I am easily frustrated, and I struggle to keep my emotions in check. ADHD can come with some ups-and-downs for sure. Not entirely unsubstantial but it does sometimes feel like delaying the inevitable if you get what I mean. Now I am a mom of two boys, one of which is just like me. Which seems like a weird way to protect me from failing. This can sometimes have a dampening effect on your mood, emotions, spirit, etc. Now that I’m older it is the same I try to get ready for work, no matter what I am running late, yes I have 3 children to get ready but even I will get up earlier and still run late due to distractions going on in my own head. I haven’t tried medication yet (I am bull-headed and want to battle it out on my own), but it might be something you can talk to your doctor about, if you are diagnosed and want to try. Now, in therapy, I’m questioned, “how do I define myself?” If not for these behaviors who am I ? One thing I want to caution you about is the possibility that your medication may become less effective over time. I have a nonexistent social life because it takes me more time to focus on doing homework than actually doing it. ADD or ADHD can be very lonely. However, a better trick is getting honest with yourself and designing a situation with REAL and higher stakes. I finally feel like I found people who know what it’s like. No chance of college or achievements in any other scholastic venues. They even become a habit, which is quite an achievement for me, but the extreme discomfort still does not reduce much. I, on the other hand, frequently find myself locked out of my house or locked in for uncomfortable periods of time. All my life I have been told “you aren’t living up to your full potential” and I’ve literally watched myself try and fail constantly and it sucks. It was like a miracle drug for me. Yes, Medication! It’s GONE!!!! It exists, therefore it must serve a purpose and always be put to use. I have big ambitions and a dream job that will take over a decade to achieve. They Don't Know About Us is a song by One Direction, from their sophomore album, Take Me Home. Now that I have two more kids in the mix, I felt like that dream was out of reach for me before. But I know that I'm gonna see you some day If work requires me to open a boring google drive file, I will find myself browsing helplessly through Youtube videos. A fog of thoughts, connections, ideas, irrelevancies. Have you ever had that moment when you start to search for something only to realize you’ve had it in your hand the whole time. I spent nearly 4 hours reading only 1/5 of your article. Understanding I have it has helped me understand a lot about myself, but has left a lot of questions…and I can’t seem to find answers. The other day, (it was silent) i was like, “Corn.” I connect the most random things. Now everything made sense, it wasn’t because that I was less of a person for being the way that I am. I’m male, but that doesn’t matter to me either. The brilliance lies in the attempt… Its like a motor in my head I cannot turn off. I started medication a week ago… I never knew how… Quiet… My brain could be. Dropping things, losing things, breaking things, too abrasive, realizing half the day is gone and you accomplished nothing. Exactly. Because I’ve learned I’m hopeless.) Most work being full time and cost of living being high, who has the time to get a different degree or diploma when you’re working? They want that high, hyper, super invincible feeling, so they begin chasing it. As they say, ya get what ya worked for, I’m just glad that I didn’t do anything bad , but just did everything by the rules. It feels like this fog has almost become a defense mechanism to protect me from failure. Sometimes I’m more focused and sometimes less, but having that space helps me feel less reactive to emails/calls/pings, and it’s helped me manage my emotions better. By the way I am super proud of myself. Just last night I was explaining to a friend what it feels like to have ADHD. I am creative, spontaneous, funny, and have the superpower of hyper focusing. And things overwhelm me to the point I don’t understand. Try medication again, Straterra is a good start to try or he could try an antidepressant. I’m kind of lucky that I have huge anxiety about letting people down, because that’s pretty much what got me through school and helps with work and social interactions. The medication I take helps a lil bit so I keep taking it. I’d say your next step is talking to your primary care physician. Sometimes it is so emotional I don’t know where to begin. Some people don’t have ADHD but may have symptoms similar or which overlap with ADHD. Outside the house, there are people to chat with, places to go and things to do. Then one day (age 32!) One morning I was driving to work, in Charleston, just ten minutes from my home, and the next thing I knew, I was in Columbia. They don’t see your cage so they don’t believe you’re trapped. It’s constant anxiety and paranoia of when is my next screw up or failure going to occur. To bad that nobody else ever wanted to see that. If you’ve managed to get this far, congrats – you probably can tell how bad my ADHD is because of the lack of any logical organization to this post. and capture anything that comes into mind about the thing I am trying to work on. I just do really stupid things without thinking on what would happen. This is a spiritual warfare Are you reading all the posts by the people with ADD on this thread? I don’t know for sure if I have inattentive ADHD yet but I suppose I’ve always felt like I was lost in a foreign country. I cannot complain because it would sound like a lightweight winger. It’s hearing half the world pretend they had adhd or listen to drs who actually don’t have a clue and really aren’t even educated on adhd that you yourself could teach them. That’s what ADHD feels like to me. I don’t need the smiling faces of professionals who are happy to listen but contribute nothing helpful. Always thought that it had to do with sleep quality or that is was ‘derealization'(maybe because of anxiety or depression). I still can’t get my life right…I don’t know how. station ?, or tv ? 247 quotes from Andrea Gibson: 'I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. ADHD feels like your trying to catch a butterfly without hands. It’s like watching 5 different hockey games simultaneously happening on the same rink and trying to only follow one game (that is keep track of one puck). I agree with those who say that anyone who says they understand and does not actually have ADHD cannot comprehend the true hell of it. I check it out. I’m 31, and I’m only about two steps ahead of you. I want so badly to start finishing things. Since medication. (Just stared into space for 3 minutes.) I was an hour and a half away, with zero recollection of the drive. I know people that have told me about ADHD and how I might possibly have it, but I’ve never looked for help. Also with some days, I feel I am hyper, as far as I can remember, I am mainly chill though like I can talk and be happy to have convos, and then some days I can’t keep up a convo and can be bothered/ have the energy for it! Blessings to you and I pray that you have the support you need, even from the people who don’t understand or believe in ADHD. Up until 3 months ago, I thought this too until I asked for help. Are you serious!! I’ve since seen the shrink and got the official diagnoses of something I evidently had as a child. That we are worth while people. As if they can see back through my one way window. And the whole time the A.I is trying to convince you to give up and go do somehting more stimulating… So you do.. Its just easier to do what the A.I wants. Aaaand there are the days where my hands and feet are bound up by thouts i know are shit but in bed i stay…. I would always shake my foot ? I was 36. I want to find the song of which I dont know all the lyrics or artist. I cannot open the window. My brain feels like a circuit that has had so many things plugged into it that a fuse has blown. It just makes a person feel really stupid and embarrassed. I can spend 2 days and go through thousands of tabs researching something to figure something out without getting tired. I had to get off of Facebook because I would worry about everything that was happening to other ppl. As soon as I do, the people on the sides (me) start throwing rocks (thoughts) at me trying to knock me off course. It’s frustrating knowing that there are things that need done not just for me, but for my family – and I wanted to do them – but I couldn’t figure out how to go about doing it without getting so frustrated that I avoided it. Trying to hold a thought is like trying to balance a drop of water on the top of a soap bubble. Sometimes the things are the same, sometimes they vanish completely and I never do them. I’m also amused at how much of my writing involves parentheses (I also speak that way). It has been hard being mistaken my entire life, wishing we had known this a long time ago. You try to start on A but give up because you cannot focus and just do B. I 100% feel the same way. So distracted ii don’t eat much. Nope for the most part! A simpler way of illustrating what ADHD is like is to watch the Monty Python sketch ‘Spam’. So, I have a million tabs open on my screen – all the time. Other issues include: my lack of organization (hard time sticking to plans, messy room…), forgetfulness (contanstly losing things which actually cost a lot of money to be replaced…) and my social difficulties. But with ADHD, sometimes it seems like it doesn’t do the job right, or the filters got big holes in it. There are plenty of ways to diagnose such behavior. It feels like I am trying to watch hundreds of TVs all on different channels while trying to listen to every song you can imagine and trying to sing along with all of them. The choice to tell my employer and work colleges I am ADHD was easy : I didN’T’! I was diagnosed a year ago, at 33. . I desperately desire the safety of my sanctuary, but I am locked out. All the papers (invasive thoughts, to-do lists, reminders, important information, etc. The anxiety. The metaphor I use is this…. Did you find it a positive or negative experience? You do a search on your phone on the current tab, forgetting all about your article. Sweetheart, just listen to me carefully. I tried to summarize an article in 400 words for my university bio class, and couldn’t get below 800 words. But my whiteboard is very different. Fortunately I’m more or organized as I get older in the house due to my partner not liking things moved. I have learned a lot from these past three years. My hyper-focus moments go towards things that I shouldn’t be doing, like reading an entire comment thread on a facebook post when I only wanted to check an event for location details, or completely re-organising the garage because I thought it looked messy when I went to get extra toilet paper. Well is this wording rigth? I also delegate anything that is beneath me (… ok, requires too much sustained concentration, regularity, or is boring). My mom constantly is checking in to make sure that I’ve not forgotten something, which is both helpful and aggravating. 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